Thursday, March 29, 2012
I was playing hockey the other day and got hit in the head with a puck and I think I might be slightly concussed, I feel like I’m hungover but I haven’t had any booze. What the hell? I’m going to have to self medicate with some shots of Kate Upton and her awesome supermodel body at some party last night. I feel better already. I’d feel even better with those big beautiful breasts massaging the back of my neck.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Not a lot is known about this new blonde bombshell, but what you do need to know is that she was named SI Swimsuit Issue's "Rookie of the Year". That and a viral video of her doing "the Dougie" at a Clippers game pushed her into mainstream popularity. But we're a little more interested in this swimsuit modeling stuff that Kate seems to do pretty damn well.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
If you think this picture doesn't make sense, wait 'til we start talking about doves
Remember a few weeks ago we had all that hoopla about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? We had stories about women in bikinis being in Sports Illustrated. News about them wearing sexy dresses to promote the fact they were in bikinis and in Sports Illustrated. Going to big parties to promote the fact they were in Sports Illustrated. Even videos of them being in Sports bloody Illustrated.
Something tall. Something blonde. Something leggy. And chesty. Something called Kate. And Upton. Yes, we missed tall, blonde, leggy, chesty Kate Upton.
She’s an 18-year-old model from Florida who, in case you hadn’t guessed, was also in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
Let’s make a brief little segue.
Twitter, right. Rumours circulated recently suggesting that Google or Facebook might buy Twitter for the measly sum of $10 billion. That seems a bit steep just so you can find out what Steve Brookstein had for breakfast in 140 tragically wasted characters.
But maybe Twitter is quite valuable. Yeah, yeah, it's been instumental in organising political uprisings and all that, but it's also become a place where celebrities post pictures of themselves. Which, if you think about it really hard, hold your breath and tilt your head to the side a bit, blink 100 times as fast as you can, and then kind of just think about something else entirely, means a dove might have died if Twitter didn't exist. Dove theory and all that. Same diff, yeah.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Not to be confused with Kate Upton.
Beauty pageant titleholder
Lauren Caitlin Upton
March 27, 1989 (age 23)
5 ft 9 in (1.75 m)
Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007
Miss Teen USA 2007
Lauren Caitlin Upton (born March 27, 1989), also credited as Caite Upton, is an American fashion model and a beauty queen from Lexington, South Carolina. While Miss South Carolina Teen USA, Upton became an Internet meme for her nonsensical response to a pageant question.
• 1 Career
• 2 Infamous response
o 2.1 Parodies
• 3 References
• 4 External links
Upton became Miss South Carolina Teen USA for 2007 in the November 2006 state pageant. She went on to place fourth in the Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant. She gained international notoriety for her convoluted and nonsensical response to a question posed to her during the national pageant.
Upton attended Lexington High School. She has modeled in numerous advertisements for such companies such as Nautica and Wrangler and has appeared in national magazines such as Seventeen, Cosmo Girl and American Cheerleader.
Upton later signed a deal with Donald Trump's modeling agency in New York City.
Upton has been enrolled in Appalachian State University where she was a member of Kappa Delta Sorority. She has moved to Los Angeles / North Hollywood to continue modeling.[dead link]
Alongside numerous other YouTube celebrities, Upton appeared in Weezer's music video "Pork and Beans," which was released on May 23, 2008 where the microphone she held became a lightsaber. In the same video, she blends "Maps" in a Blendtec blender.
Upton was a contestant on The Amazing Race 16, where she is credited as Caite Upton. She and her teammate, ex-boyfriend Brent Horne, placed 3rd.
As part of a question and answer portion of the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant, Upton was asked by the questioner, Friday Night Lights actress Aimee Teegarden: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?" Upton responded:
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh. . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.
According to YouTube, video clips of her response on the website have had over 51.3 million views. It was the site's most viewed video for the month of September 2007. Many YouTube users made their own parodies of the incident. The Yale Book of Quotations designated the response the second most memorable quote of 2007. Upton won a World Stupidity Award for the Stupidest Statement of the Year.
As a guest on NBC's The Today Show, Upton told Ann Curry and Matt Lauer that she was overwhelmed when asked the question and did not comprehend it correctly. The Today Show hosts gave Upton another opportunity to answer. She responded:
Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. And if the statistics are correct, I believe that there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better.
Both Curry and Lauer, along with unseen crew members, applauded her response.
Upton also attended the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, where she performed a parody of her famous response.
She also appeared on an episode of the TLC series King of the Crown and on a 2009 Comedy Central's Tosh.0 as a "Web Redemption".
In September 2009, Upton appeared in a television advertisement for Wonderful Pistachios, as part of their "Get Crackin'" campaign. In the commercial, she wears a pageant gown and a sash reading "Miss Wonderful," and says: "I personally believe that cracking shells will help Americans who don't have maps [pause] to build a better future."
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated swimsuit modelKate Upton and New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez have been rumored dating for weeks. Sanchez has been captured appearing at the apartment of 19-year-old model so frequently, sometimes as late as midnight.
Mark Sanchez, 25, has been spotted several times at the beauty’s pad since November this year, usually after his games or before practices. The NFL star was even seen giving gift to Kate Upton in her building’s lobby early last month after he arrived at a charity event. On other occasion, Mark Sanchez was seen entering Kate Upton’s house carrying bags several minutes after the model arrived. Kate Upton and Mark Sanchez have also been seen at his place of work.
Kate Upton isn’t the only woman that Mark Sanchez has been linked to during his time in the Big Apple. The player has also been linked to a string of beauties, including actresss Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Hayden Panettiere, who’s now dating his teammate Scotty McKnight. Last week, Sanchez was event spotted entertaining two mystery women in one night at the Moderne Hotel.
Kate Upton, on the other hand, was briefly linked to hip hop star Kanye West in the summer. The model declined to comment anything on her personal life. The source added that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model attended some Mark Sanchez’s Jets games because her sister Christie Upton is a manager of client relations for the team and works closely with Sanchez.
Although Mark Sanchez may be busy with his match against the Giants on Christmas Eve, he has been keeping in time with Victoria’s Secret model Kate Upton
Kate Upton was briefly linked to hip hop star Kanye West in the summer
Kate Upton has been rumored to be dating Mark Sanchez for weeks
One of countless sexy pictures of the 19-year-old model
Are Kate Upton and Mark Sanchez dating?
Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Kate Upton has already decorated New York City billboards through her Guess campaigns, but as fate would have it, her inclusion in the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue -- and distinction as its Rookie of the Year -- launched her career to new levels. For that, she can thank her flawless physique and her brave decision to be clad only in body paint for the magazine’s annual modeling showcase. Kate Upton's eagerness to show off her assets and fun-loving attitude is the kind of thing that long careers and adoring male fans are made of. Her future is as bright as her sparkling blue eyes.
If you think that Kate Upton sounds familiar, you've probably heard her last name before. Caitlin Upton is the name of the unfortunate former Miss South Carolina, who became a pop-culture fixture after offering up a disastrous answer at the Miss USA pageant.